Yesterday I took an emotional roller coaster ride, going up high and plunging straight down. I couldnt believe my ears. The words rocked on my head, my mind a blur, unable to hold on to a thought long enough to take it to the next stage. I feel tears clogging up my head. I screwed up, screwed up big time. Ishi's gone forever. He collapsed in his car, ending it all. I can't visualise it at all, but he did took his life. By the time he was brought in to the hospital, he was already dead. Why.Why. My brain seemed as paralyzed as the rest of the body, the words echoing through my minds. It just seemed too great a loss for anyone who could or could not take it and i am still in a daze.

People helping you, that what's happens in the world of hope. He doesn't lives here anymore. Survival, that's the name of the game. In this life, in this town, I guess we don't expect anything. Being happy, taking control of one's life, that's all in the future. Everybody has a breaking point so why blame anyone for breaking? Well, I know it gets more emotional as I go on but one thing that makes me colossally relieved is that time does heal all wounds, even feelings do fade away slowly.

What exactly happened to Ishi to make him like this? He's easily one of the nicest and talented person you can find in Singapore. I have read his blog and had sensed that something was not going quite right for him but perhaps all of us just casually dismissed the thought that he might be in distress. Had there been a tragedy? A loss? Was there some terrible thing that had causd him to step off he conveyor belt of life around the age of twenty six. He could have a bright future, if he wanted.

Or; more insidously, had he just taken the cautious route time and time again? Had he cut off more more potential branches of life until it narrowed down to just one?

Whatever it is, let's all wish that ishi now finds peace in his inner soul wherever he is now. God Bless. And to my dear friends who are to greatly affected by his sudden departure, do not grieve too much over it as there is bound to be a rainbow after all the tears, alright? And super thanks to those who sent me sms'es of consolation, much appreciated.
Time does not stop to wait for anyone so it's time to move on for the better and to put the past behind.


And I knew it was always late at night, when everything and everyone else was quiet, that those voices would rise like ghosts, soft and haunting, filing your mind until sleep finally came.