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Just me.  Other days, I am.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008 @ 11:47 PM
Missing calls. I thought. I thought that this will be a cheery entry from me, since ive noted the fact that I had beed in an unusually good mood the last few days. But, just when i thought that my almost perfect day was coming to a close, I SCARED MYSELF SILLY. Funny, how things have to happen at the wrong times. tough luck. Now i understand by what they mean about not being able to have the best of both worlds and it's the faith that'll make you stronger. * * Alright, enough silly thoughts for the day and note to self: Stop being weird. Being stressed after the exams feels almost too wrong. And the dinner later on, a treat by mr ivan(thankyou!), was also warm and welcoming too. Saw my beloved mrgerald. He tried finding fault in ever line i said and omg yes, i can see that he was being very concerned about me indeed.(not) Am impressed by his gift of the gab anyway. hahaha. and to mark, no more chocs for you alright? Not like you will ever, ever see this though.
And a sincere thankyou from me to everyone i know that knows me for all the birthday wishes and gifts. I love the feeling of receiving(and of cos, giving). People that i never expected would remember actually did. ^^ Maybe you did noticed afterall, the curt sentences above. Im not exactly in the best of moods to blog though i feel like I need to pen down every single thoughts that is running through my head right now and the million things that is going on in my life now. AH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. - Allow me. Allow me to spend time straightening out my thoughts and calming myself down. I'll be back here before you know it. - In the meantime, learn how to save a life. - - Wednesday, August 27, 2008 @ 12:30 PM
NO NO NO. A MOMENT AGO, i was laughing at air. NOW, LAUGHING AT MY CALCULATOR. IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES, I'LL BE LAUGHING AT MY SILLY SELF. * there's a growing insanity in me. Monday, August 25, 2008 @ 3:12 PM
Awaken(!!) Now, all i need is pocketful of tissue papers. @ 1:00 PM
Apparently still alive but too weak to do any kickings. Mood is horrible to the core and I just want to sleeeeep till daylight. Movements are badly restricted and i suspect that i have two heads. It's a miracle why i still am able to whine. Shitzxz. Shall sleep and see if i will still wake up alive. @ 12:47 PM
Freezing Feets and A Burning Forehead. AM I DEAD? Saturday, August 23, 2008 @ 12:27 AM
Supposed to Be. Low point of the day-Sneezed like there’s no tomorrow. - High point of the day-Screamed my lungs out for SOUL a couple of hours ago. :D - - Which made me realized how much I miss them. Missed seeing them performing. Missed hanging around them. Missed their lame jokes. Missed waiting for them after their performances just to chat/ take photographs with each of them. Magical as it seems that two good years has already passed since the “near glorious days”. And Awi looks really adorable today. Screw the few guys standing beside me who were having the ultimate brainless talk of all. Syl should get what I mean. Zzzzx. - And I’m surprised that I have absolutely not a single picture of them on stage(!!) I could never bring myself to return home unless my cam was flooded with their pictures in the past.. AAHH. I should just stop cursing my camera who died on me a few months ago and apparently now my hp is trying to be funny. Anyway, on a much much happier note, I think stella managed to steal( okay, not steal, more likely GET) tickets for me and twin for Monday SB! OMGXZ. Hahaha love her man! THANK YOU. :D - Which reminds me that I have one lesser day to mug. - And that yesterday was a mug-free day too. - Justin excitedly brought me to hortpark, (somewhere near vivo city?), to suffer. *dodges flying tomatoes coming fast in my direction* Anyway, bet most of you are totally unaware that it is a nature park and that it exists in Singapore. –grins smugly- And the fabulous part of it all that we actually trekked for like more than 2km(??) Was panting and desperately catching for breath the whole time. HAHAHA. The trail is kind of cool and it got further and further from/higher and higher above the ground. Still, it was a great night. (that line was to save myself from Justin murdering me when he sees me the next time) And such a pity that both our hp cameras weren’t night-friendly hence these 3 pathetic shots that we struggled to take.. -  :D -  it has actually everchanging colours but due to our lack of patience, we lasted only a shot. Wish we had a little more patience though. >< -  Isnt this such a pretty colour! - ~ Maybe, lets revisit the place again when we have better quality cameras with FLASH. - - And I guess I got pretty tired by the time I reached home the day before. That my mind was no longer processing certain gory scenes from 4bia which could have had me staying awake all night long. So, today, I concentrated hard not thinking about the movie and failed. I am still thinking of it right at this very moment. Had been persuading syl to catch it for the whole of this afternoon when we were supposed to do something like mmmm studying. - It was indeed a blessing that Justin got the timings of Mad About English mixed up and we ended up catching 4bia, a thai movie. At last, a last minute decision that was made wisely. It was such a coooool movie that I wouldn’t very much mind watching it again. Shan’t elaborate lest the spoilers. And it’s definitely WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than Prom Night. Really suspenseful and thrilling. Got my heart beating like a bullet train the whole time and it totally caught me off guard at some point of time. - Something cool I noticed too was that the person sitting beside me could pass off as my grandmother. Serious. She’s so cool that she has a strong heart and without a companion. Cant imagine watching such a horror flick alone. I’d probably scared myself shitless. - Note to self: Shall attempt such bravery act when I am old too. - Or MAYBE NOT. - Don’t really want to die in a cinema watching a horror film at the age of 60. That would be like the joke of the century. - Ha. - It's bad enough that I couldn’t control. Splurged on food again. Grrrrrrrrrr. It always happens when im out with twin. Plus the unavoidable curious stares of passerbys at their amazing discovery that we look so damn alike(?)and the excited tone of people saying this to their friends..OH MY GOD. THEY ARE TWINS. =O - - Yet, at this point of time and stage in my life, I think im unfazed. -- - ^ - I dont need a better reason. Wednesday, August 20, 2008 @ 6:37 PM
Raindrops slid down and split apart my mind By right, I should be jumping for joy now that i can lie low for at least a couple more days before I begin my final revision for econs. But PACC paper was like a straw, it sucks. Grrrr. You know when ms chen said alright, one more minute, my body suddenly bolted upright. I realised it was so intensive, that i was so terrified. Really, time management failed me. F. Dont know why but I felt so much warmth with my girl friends just now. :D sylvia,melissa,yiqi,meifang,jo,minsiandhalimah. (V) Probably cos I was already losing grip after the horrendous paper. Just the thought of it is enough to make me depressed once again. =O Shall think of anything else but it, gotta do some stuff to completely distract myself, which includes jogging later. Ah. it's late. And it is damn windy and chilly now. Side note: trio will be keeping my mind busy the next few days. :D plus I saw many adorable european kids on the way home. specifically around tanglin-orchard area. So, 3-4 in the afternoon can be concluded to be the optimum time to SPOT them roaming cutely on the streets. One little one was even wearing a superman outfit(!!!). Maybe it was some of the luck that I am still keeping with me, a mother with 3 euro kids came up on 105. Boy, were her kids making hell load of noise on the bus. Surprising, I wasnt a bit irritated which I'd normally will be with the asian kids. :D I dont know why i have many weird fetishes (this is one of them) that I even secretly thought of being a nanny to these kids when i grow up. They have this natural ability of casting away my grumpy mood and make me smile like a child with his candies.. - - Before this rain strengthens we will show our vulnerabilities Sunday, August 17, 2008 @ 12:48 PM
I'd Give the World. Drawing in massive breaths Irregular heart beats. The rain beats in its own rhythm. While I get lost in my own little world. Never to come out of it again. - The grey sky looks as it is never going to stop weeping. And I am looking like I will never ever be done with my revision, judging from my snail’s pace. In a period of 10days. I did pretty much nothing but to mope around the house, and acting like exams are over. Now I’m left with just one day. G R E A T. So it was a typical happy ending afterall for MP, the greatest Olympian in history for now. Mmmmmmm. I’ll be even more surprised if he didn’t achieve that last medal. And that marks a beautiful end to the swimming events which will have our attention now diverted to the most anticipated Sg Vs China in table tennis finals tonight! Will Singapore be able to stand up strong against China? I guess the only thing we can do now is to wait patiently for a few more hours and then put ourselves through those nerve-wrecking moments once again. And my lunch today is going to be sweet, I reckon. - - living with no air. Saturday, August 16, 2008 @ 12:05 AM
A Dream of Yours. I am insane. Check out my LJ post for the full story. - - - dont make me change my mind. Wednesday, August 13, 2008 @ 9:15 PM
The Thrill of Victory. So, he’s the reason why I’ve been crazily trying to follow the Olympics games, particularly the swimming events. I got slightly furious when my mum had accidentally forgotten to call me out to the living room when the man, himself was going to begin another almost perfect race. Pffffffft. ~~~~ *drum rolls*
 Don’t know why the sudden interest in the 23 year old of United States, but yes, he makes me feel very inspired somehow. Definitely one of the most phenomenal athletes ever. He has so far bagged five gold medals, on his quest to break an alarming record of achieving eight in the 08’ Olympics. Seeing how he is in a solid shape right now and plus tons of sheer determination, I certainly hope he can achieve his dream! Now I think I’m being meddlesome in other’s affairs, but I shall not make this a post related to S_ _ _ _ _ s. Apparently, I think I am one of the rare few who I know of that is catching all the buzzing action. ZZZZZZXXXXXXX. And, I think it will be cool if I can even float on water, not to mention swim. Yes, it will be….. - Can't bear to eat the smiling candy Sunday, August 10, 2008 @ 10:24 PM
My Ending. My Beginning. My Last. My First. Notable things that happened today: ----- ---★ Eyes hurt terribly after staring at the screen for less than 5 minutes. -----------Suspects:
Friday, August 08, 2008 @ 6:46 PM
Brief Hesitation. My attempt to mug at the library with my invisible partner proved to be one of the worst ideas I ever came up with for the longest time. Apart from making myself insanely bored, I was busy wishing that I could say boo to a goose instead. This is so, so sick. I am looking at notes which seemed like they have lost all meanings. And it pretty much sucked, to have come all the way to the library and find that I’m such a disappointment to myself. Hence, I decidedly picked up a story book from the tall shelves and tried getting lost in it. Title of book was A voice from the distance by Tabitha Suzuma. I remembered reading another book wrote by her some time last year. Content is about this guy called Flynn, a star pianist, who has the world under his feet and is promised a glittering career. But he is on a medication to keep him plunging back into the whirlpool of maniac depression that once threatened to destroy him. So he is either depressed or overly hyperactive all the time and he scares even himself having those less than optimistic thoughts. It just gets worse and he finds himself facing the biggest sacrifice of all and it doesn’t help that his girlfriend hasn’t the slightest idea on what to do with her maniac depressed boyfriend. Every thought hurts like hell. Everything you see is awful, twisted, pointless. And the worst, the worst of it is yourself. I’ll admit bluntly that reading this kind of stuff does makes me go all sensitive and insecure, yet at the same time cautious. Oh well, since I have nothing much to be happy about today. (HAHA well maybe a little.) And that I shall indulge in reading since I’m not planning to do anything else more productive today. I seriously wonder how I’ll be able to dive into the exams preparation mode any sooner with all these momentary distractions. Oh my goodness. An hour later… Im choked, after reading the last few chapters. Here’s why if you’re curious to know. Otherwise, do not read the below. And don’t ask me why im so free to be able to type it out. Ive already mentioned I was rotting with my notes. ~ ~ Chapter 16 Jennah ~ I don’t know why I sent Flynn a ticket to the concert. Well, actually that’s not true. I do know why. Because I want him to come. I want him to come and hear me sing Letting Go in public for the very first time. I want him to come and see how much I still love him. But now I realize it was a mistake. It was a mistake because now, either way, I’m going to cry. If he comes, I’ll cry. If he doesn’t, I’ll cry even more. A lose-lose situation. And the deadliest thing you can do when trying to sing is to cry. My nerves are absolutely shot. It’s ridiculous. Just some silly charity concert in some silly, nothing music hall in Manchester. But if Flynn come, it will be the first time I will have seen him in eighteen days. If I manage to get through singing Letting Go, it will be the first time his song is publicy performed. And if Flynn comes to find me afterwards.. My heart thumps as if it’s ready to burst. Oh please let him come. I almost want to ring Sophie to check he received the ticket. What if it got lost in the mail? But then I realized that ringing would defeat the whole purpose. I just have to hope. But I do hope. I hope so much it hurts. When I finally step out to stage to sing Letting Go at the very end of the recital, my legs threaten to buckle beneath me. I can’t remember ever feeling this nervous before, not for anything. How will I even know is Flynn is here or not? The applause dies away. I want to lie down and die….. ~ ~ Chapter Seventeen Flynn ~ I walk quickly back to the station. I will not cry. I will not cry. You sang the song so beautifully, my love. Perhaps I hoped you would be a wreck, perhaps I hoped you would be a mess. But when you came out of that door, surrounded by friends and families, your eyes alight with happiness, everything became clear. Suddenly I knew what I had to do to make you happy. Suddenly I received the answer that has been there all the time. They say if you really love someone, you should be willing to set them free. So that is what I am doing. I will step back and you will move on. I will let you go. I will not bring you back to London, backs to hospitals and moods and rows. I will watch you from a distance, watch you succeed in whatever you do. And without me, you will. My Lovely Jennah, my beautiful Jennah. Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket, I will carry your smile with me, every-where, like a warm and comforting glow. ~ - Beautiful, isn’t it? But reading the actual book itself is much much better. - - There is no explanation. Thursday, August 07, 2008 @ 10:27 PM
Live with.  Stupid post but I just feel like eating the above. Sunday, August 03, 2008 @ 6:14 PM
Slowing things down and speeding things up.  - Alright, I have finally, after dragging and dragging, completed my CIP. I think. My worst fears of being sued by the SB director for not being able to fulfill my approved LOA and anthony breathing down my neck to finish my CIP is disappearing into thin air. Crazy thoughts I know. Shall thank YIQI and her friends so much, I don’t know what I would do instead without them. Anyway, we went door to door on the blocks of my territory. Some people are like urgh, just seeing them makes you feel sick. Of cos there were a pretty few nice souls who made our day! And we went knocking on a door of a familiar student, well not quite actually. We were like ‘HI! We’re from Singapore Polytechnic and we’re representing blahblah charity organization’ and froze when we realized that he was wearing a tee with the words Singapore Polyechnic printed on it. Lucky he was smart enough to part with his 4 bucks for the postcard. Hahaha. I saw a cute, cute kitten too. It’s approaching evening already. I still have piles of untouched homework which seems incessant. I wish I had a super memory. - - And you looked at me, like you know.. Friday, August 01, 2008 @ 8:44 PM
Read My Mind. Music- JAY CHOU’s. (all that could get in my brain at a time, at least) - What a gruesomely tiring week it has been and it doesn’t help that my mum is yakking away now, insisting that I have to be polite to people, esp to relatives. =O Whatever that she’s saying does not register in my brain. I don’t know why she’s so affected by a senseless comment of an aunt. oh gosh. Anyway, the end of a Friday for the week spells relief for me, and many! PTH project finally submitted and CD as well, though I still have to make up for my lost CIP hours. I can see it all unfolding already. ITB’s all that left, followed by exams then holidays! This is going to be so exciting, let me countdown. 18days to the start and 27days to the end. Pretty eventful week I had, which included a couple of Ups and Downs moments. Received several CA grades and it was pretty horrible, don’t bother asking. Apart from that, everything was looking pretty alright. Okay, I shall attempt to be more elaborative than I normally am to providing more details. =) Well, before I ramble off, here's a picture we took to be placed on the cover of our pth service audit report! COOL RIGHT! thankyou jo for helping us take such a wonderful shot.-bows- -  - - Aye, yes, I’ve watched Prom Night and it was seriously not of high entertainment value, though we had already anticipated it cos of it’s if-i-could-i-would-give-it-zero-stars review. I shall give up all hopes on watching the Dark Knight despite the awesome feedback. Time to buck up. OH YES! KATERINE CAME TO FIND ME ON TUESDAY AND WE HAD LUNCH WHILE CATCHING UP! HAHAHA. ~ Wait. There's still more. On an uber bored thursday afternoon, minsi, jo, yiqi, meifang and I entertained ourselves with this....( feeling a pang of guilt as it was also when halimah was feeling frustrated over our projects =X)  Say, do you get our message? Seriously, you must be a genius if you got it the moment your eyes set sight on it. =P - - WHEEE! I realised i need to share this: I drank the most unique fruit juice ever in my whole entire life. If you ever go to SP food court 3, try the guava and soursop juice. OMG. try it and you will experience a taste that you probably never imagined you would! < 3 And MSB had kept me happy all these while. I am still learning to do likewise for you. - - - So hopeful that topics never end and the garden tour festival never closes. |